Ahhh...Mc Dreamy!

Just watched the movie Made of Honor with Patrick Dempsey. I am such a sucker for "chick flicks"! Though as I write this I realized that I missed It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown! Damn!

Some of my new "fav's"

"I saw a little ghost and he saw me too...when I said "hi" he said "BOO!"
(If you listen closely at the end, Erin says Boo)

This is me in a nutshell

I have hypothyroidism. Once in a great while I need to adjust my meds. to accomodate my quality of life. I can get moody, fatigued, cold, sweaty, nervous, anxious, depressed, fat, cranky, slow, exhausted. I can have lack of interest, lack of desire, lack of self esteem, lack of motivation, lack of fertility, lack of memory...

I also am recovering from Epstein-Barr virus and have extra fluid around my heart which makes me fatigued, out of breath, slow, nervous, afraid, not at ease....

I am a mother of a toddler. I take her to school for 8 1/2 hrs a day. I listen to her cry if she is unhappy and I am not able to console her. I try to reason as I pray that getting into the car seat is an easy transition at the end of the day. I bribe with milk, Dora, Puppy, kisses...I drive home singing "Wheels on the Bus", playing "I spy", saying "Shhh...we're almost home, "it's ok..." to try and comfort my daughter as she fusses in her seat, wipes the bottom of her dirty sneakers, takes off her socks and shoes, yells "All done". I get home and prepare dinner and tomorrow's lunch as my toddler slowly starts to melt because she just played for 8 1/2 hrs. at school and now she wants to eat. I bribe her with muffins so she can take her 3rd round of antibiotics for yet another painful ear infection. I hope that I don't have to clean poop out of the tub during bathtime. I read Witzy Wonders, Goodnight Moon, Brown bear, brown bear, Bedtime for Bunbun, and "Tilly". I snuggle close and breath in her innocence. I give kisses and reassurance and hope that she doesn't cry for me. We haven't spent much time together...

I clean up what I can but I am tired again because I am a teacher. I take care of 20 children and they have the energy that I am longing for. I wish that I could prepare myself dinner but only have the strength somedays to pour cereal, again...

I don't care of myself. I don't eat like I should, don't drink like I should, don't care about myself as much as I should...

I am a wife. I eat dinner alone. Worry about money, time, health alone. I'm usually sleeping late at night and it leaves little time for conversation, hugs, closeness, a connection...

This is me in a nutshell. Take it or leave it...100%
*************************************************************************************

I have hypothyroidism. I am in tune to my body more than most. I am aware of my health and am my own best advocate.

I am on the road to recovery. My heart is strong and is in repair. I have educated doctors guiding me and helping me make the best choices for myself.

I am a mother of a healthy toddler. That in itself is a blessing. I wake and see each day through her eyes. I comfort, mend, support, engage and teach. I am a playmate, a friend, a role model. I sing, read, run, cuddle, protect and love unconditionally.

I am a teacher. I inspire, teach, support, care, listen, guide and learn.

I am a wife. I have the support of a best friend. Someone who has and will see me at my best and my worst. I have someone to talk to, cry with, laugh with, dream with. I have someone to love and grow old with, to raise my children with, share myself with.

This is me in a nutshell. Take it or leave it... 100%

To my sweet daughter, Erin

~~21 months ago today I held you in my arms for the first time. I wish that I had remembered to capture those first moments in a bottle.
I wish I had saved the smell of your sweet, milky breath, the touch of your soft, powdered skin. How small you were in my arms as I held you like I had known you forever, though I had waited forever to meet you.






I look forward to the years to come. Birthdays, holidays, and many "firsts" I will share with you, my first daughter. We will share laughs and tears, joys and pain. I will care for you all the days of my life, here and beyond, like I cared for you those first days of your life.~~




Sweet dreams my darling Erin. Sleep well. Good night.
Love
Mommy

Just a thought...

I need a break!
***More to come***

To treat or not to treat?

Rumor has it that pediatricians are trying not to prescribe antibiotics to children with ear infections. Just treat for pain with Tylenol or Motrin. Not Erin's doctor or his fellow partners. Erin now has her 3rd ear infection since August and is on another dose of antibiotics. At least I know that the meds will clear the infection quickly and working along with Tylenol, she will most likely sleep through the night tonight. But on the other hand I am hearing mixed reviews from other moms who say that it is harmful to Erin to be treated again. I didn't take Erin to the doctor this morning so I didn't get to ask my questions...and Greg didn't think to ask because honestly, this isn't a topic usually heard around the water cooler with "the guys" at work.

I am feeling guilty enough that again, I didn't know that my toddler's ears were causing her so much pain last night. I wish I could take back my frustration and annoyance with her at the 3am. Now the added guilt is that I am doubting myself and her trusted doctor. Did we do the right thing?