Ahhh...Mc Dreamy!

Just watched the movie Made of Honor with Patrick Dempsey. I am such a sucker for "chick flicks"! Though as I write this I realized that I missed It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown! Damn!

Some of my new "fav's"

"I saw a little ghost and he saw me too...when I said "hi" he said "BOO!"
(If you listen closely at the end, Erin says Boo)

This is me in a nutshell

I have hypothyroidism. Once in a great while I need to adjust my meds. to accomodate my quality of life. I can get moody, fatigued, cold, sweaty, nervous, anxious, depressed, fat, cranky, slow, exhausted. I can have lack of interest, lack of desire, lack of self esteem, lack of motivation, lack of fertility, lack of memory...

I also am recovering from Epstein-Barr virus and have extra fluid around my heart which makes me fatigued, out of breath, slow, nervous, afraid, not at ease....

I am a mother of a toddler. I take her to school for 8 1/2 hrs a day. I listen to her cry if she is unhappy and I am not able to console her. I try to reason as I pray that getting into the car seat is an easy transition at the end of the day. I bribe with milk, Dora, Puppy, kisses...I drive home singing "Wheels on the Bus", playing "I spy", saying "Shhh...we're almost home, "it's ok..." to try and comfort my daughter as she fusses in her seat, wipes the bottom of her dirty sneakers, takes off her socks and shoes, yells "All done". I get home and prepare dinner and tomorrow's lunch as my toddler slowly starts to melt because she just played for 8 1/2 hrs. at school and now she wants to eat. I bribe her with muffins so she can take her 3rd round of antibiotics for yet another painful ear infection. I hope that I don't have to clean poop out of the tub during bathtime. I read Witzy Wonders, Goodnight Moon, Brown bear, brown bear, Bedtime for Bunbun, and "Tilly". I snuggle close and breath in her innocence. I give kisses and reassurance and hope that she doesn't cry for me. We haven't spent much time together...

I clean up what I can but I am tired again because I am a teacher. I take care of 20 children and they have the energy that I am longing for. I wish that I could prepare myself dinner but only have the strength somedays to pour cereal, again...

I don't care of myself. I don't eat like I should, don't drink like I should, don't care about myself as much as I should...

I am a wife. I eat dinner alone. Worry about money, time, health alone. I'm usually sleeping late at night and it leaves little time for conversation, hugs, closeness, a connection...

This is me in a nutshell. Take it or leave it...100%
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I have hypothyroidism. I am in tune to my body more than most. I am aware of my health and am my own best advocate.

I am on the road to recovery. My heart is strong and is in repair. I have educated doctors guiding me and helping me make the best choices for myself.

I am a mother of a healthy toddler. That in itself is a blessing. I wake and see each day through her eyes. I comfort, mend, support, engage and teach. I am a playmate, a friend, a role model. I sing, read, run, cuddle, protect and love unconditionally.

I am a teacher. I inspire, teach, support, care, listen, guide and learn.

I am a wife. I have the support of a best friend. Someone who has and will see me at my best and my worst. I have someone to talk to, cry with, laugh with, dream with. I have someone to love and grow old with, to raise my children with, share myself with.

This is me in a nutshell. Take it or leave it... 100%

To my sweet daughter, Erin

~~21 months ago today I held you in my arms for the first time. I wish that I had remembered to capture those first moments in a bottle.
I wish I had saved the smell of your sweet, milky breath, the touch of your soft, powdered skin. How small you were in my arms as I held you like I had known you forever, though I had waited forever to meet you.






I look forward to the years to come. Birthdays, holidays, and many "firsts" I will share with you, my first daughter. We will share laughs and tears, joys and pain. I will care for you all the days of my life, here and beyond, like I cared for you those first days of your life.~~




Sweet dreams my darling Erin. Sleep well. Good night.
Love
Mommy

Just a thought...

I need a break!
***More to come***

To treat or not to treat?

Rumor has it that pediatricians are trying not to prescribe antibiotics to children with ear infections. Just treat for pain with Tylenol or Motrin. Not Erin's doctor or his fellow partners. Erin now has her 3rd ear infection since August and is on another dose of antibiotics. At least I know that the meds will clear the infection quickly and working along with Tylenol, she will most likely sleep through the night tonight. But on the other hand I am hearing mixed reviews from other moms who say that it is harmful to Erin to be treated again. I didn't take Erin to the doctor this morning so I didn't get to ask my questions...and Greg didn't think to ask because honestly, this isn't a topic usually heard around the water cooler with "the guys" at work.

I am feeling guilty enough that again, I didn't know that my toddler's ears were causing her so much pain last night. I wish I could take back my frustration and annoyance with her at the 3am. Now the added guilt is that I am doubting myself and her trusted doctor. Did we do the right thing?

Scary morning

Erin has had a bit of a lingering cough for a little over a month now. The dr. doesn't seem to be concerned and it's usually only while she is sleeping. The other night it sounded like the croup but not bad enough to keep her awake all night. Last night Erin was fussy at her usual fussy time (9:30 every night. Must be moving into a different sleep stage) Then she was fussy again at 11:30. I stayed with her for a little while and she fell back to sleep. 4:30 came (another typical fussy time) and cried a little bit. 6:00 comes and Erin is still asleep. She's usually yelling for Greg or I at this time every morning. 6:30--6:40---finally Erin wakes up crying. Greg goes in to get her up and change her. He takes her out of bed, stands her up and I hear a thud. I had no idea what was going on until Greg calls me to come in.

I walk in to Erin's room and see her limp, colorless and sweaty. Usually she looks like this when she needs to vomit. This time her nostrils were the size of a pin and she has a hint of blue/green around her mouth. We sit with her on the floor, take off her jammies and she goes in and out of alert and asleep. Inside I am trying to stay calm but with all the scary episodes we have had up until this point, it's hard to relax. Finally Erin comes around and sounds like she is close to vomiting. When she doesn't we get her some juice to try to help her out.

I call out of work and figure that I'll be home with a puking child all day but so far, nothing. She is just FULL of mucus. Right now she is playing with blocks and reading books. She's active but not totally herself. She's eaten 1 1/2 bowls of Cheerios, a cup of juice and 1/2 a frozen go-gurt. So far, so good but she had me worried a little bit there for a while...

Hull St. playground and Fun-filled Saturday

On Saturday we took our annual trip to Oakdale Farm in Rehoboth. Greg and I have been going there every fall since we started dating **ahem** 10 yrs. ago! Last year we took Erin for the first time. I had envisioned that day as being perfect but it really didn't meet my expectations. This year was AMAZING! We took a hayride, walked through a corn maze and picked pumpkins. I had a smile on my face as I watched Erin enjoy it all really for the first time! It really made up for last year!

Our trip to our favorite playground

Hayride at Oakdale farm
"sandbox" in a tractor tire!
In our front yard
Found a mushroom!
more hayride
Picking the perfect pumpkin

Ten things Tuesday

My first "Ten Things Tuesday". I'm feeling the need to be thankful! Hopefully I will stick to it better than my own "My Marriage Monday"!

1 A good night's sleep last night...both Erin and I (her's 7pm mine 7:30 pm!!)
2. My NKOTB ticket surprise from my husband. I didn't REALLY really want to go see them, but it was the conversation that I now know he heard and understood that was validated!
3. An opening at the hairdressers tomorrow at 2. I hope the hairdresser knows how to cut curly hair. That's always a challenge!
4. Fall weather!
5. 3 day weekends!
6. My MIL who will be taking Erin to Target to get her pictures taken on Saturday!
7. A great sweater that made me feel pretty today
8. Subway!
9. Great "team teachers". I wouldn't be able to do my job as well with out Johanna and Miss. Joann
10. Being able to wear contacts today! Thanks 1 800 CONTACTS!

Our Busy Weekend

On Friday night my Dad came to pick Erin up for a fun-filled weekend with "Grammy and Poppa".
Everyone had a great time but my overstimulated toddler was feeling the effects of being away from home for too long, way into Monday night. Today she woke up refreshed and rested...thank goodness!

We did manage to take her to meet Curious George at Edaville Railroad. (something that contributed to the "tired toddler attitude") George was in a big brick building, Ellis Playhouse I believe it was called. It was a great room with a ball pit, a maze for toddlers, big wood child sized houses, trolly cars for viewing movies and more. I enjoyed watching Erin in this totally age appropriate wonderland and she thoroughly enjoyed herself as well!

Over heard...

I went to Friendly's alone tonight for dinner. It was nice to relax and read a book and not worry about having to feed Erin!

Overheard while eating...

5 yr. old girl--"I would REALLY love to be a lobster catcher but I'm too afraid."
Mom--"What are you afraid of?"
girl--"I don't want them to pinch me! But I LOVE lobsters!"

Later on...
girl--"Hey! She's (Me) got ice cream"
Mom--"Well, she ate all her dinner..."
girl--"No she didn't. That lady took it away!"

I would have never heard these conversations if I were cutting grill cheese and pouring whole milk!!
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I also bought Erin a slide for outside at Savers tonight for $4.99! Eventually we'll have some more outdoor toys for her to enjoy!

Med. school...

Erin was just picked up by her "Poppa" for a weekend away with Grammy and Poppa at their home in Carver, Mass. I had been excited all week because Greg and I along with my sister and her boyfriend are going to Six Flags tomorrow. We have needed some adult time for a while now, but now that it's here all I can think about is missing my little girl. What will I ever do when she goes off to Med. school?!!